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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Hopes and Dreams Uncompromised /The Measure of a Man

Hopes and Dreams can be beat out of you by parents. Parents who are trying to protect you from disappointment. Disappointment that may come from some in the world who have little dreams or hope for a different type of life. And some of these disappointment will come from tried and true laws created to limit and restrict your expectation of what it is to live as who you are. In other words man trying to order your steps!

The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier. A friend told me about this book, The Measure of a Man. When a young man was killed in our hometown, I remembered what she said about the measure of a man. I decided to blog about the message embodied in the title to get young folks to man up and recognize the fact that they are not street.


My friend used the phrase again during a conversation and she tells me I need to get the book and read it. The words stuck with me, as a challenge for me to give to other men as a catch phrase to man up. I made a mental note to get the book from my library, soon...

Well, I was finally pushed to get the book because the main library where I spent a lot of time was due to close. So, I needed to get there before the move to the new libary to get the book. I am told because of the moving, I could keep the book for three weeks! Enough time to put it to the side ..to read later. But, my friend calls me and says something like, "guess what book Oprah has selected for her book club?" Well bingo it's "The Measure of a Man". Nope, had the book, but was not compelled to read it.

So, I decide well now it's really time for me to read the book just in case, I am selected to go on the show with my friend who has read the book years ago. I believe in miracles.

I decide to pace myself in reading the book. One chapter a day would allow me to read the book in a week. But that did not happen. I could not get into the book. I was too distracted. So, I could not get into Mr. Poitier, writing style, and I kept having flash backs about Pitier leavig his wife to marry a raced white woman. I had to read for a limited amount of time. I was curious and was wondering if he would address this issue. Besides I loved his movies, Guess who's coming to dinner, Who did not cheer for him in To sir with love, and They call me Mr. Tibbs?

So, I had to fight to find his personality that was on the screen in his writing. it was slow, I found it and once again I connected to him like some of the characters he played in his career. From the writing, I went to my childhood and meager beginnings. Meager beginnings, but surrounded by family, my great grandmother, my grandparents, my mother. The conversational tone used in the writing,like, you hear me, reminded me of a time when folks who cared about you talked to you, in such phrasings. Wise saying with only a few words, brief sentences and not a long lecture, but you found yourself remembering the message, twenty years later with ashes on your face. Poitier called it a language shaped from a scarcity of money. Others, unable to give you guidance with this limited language did so by using anothe method as his mama, a wham here and a wham there in taming this wide eyed optimism in believing you could tame nature.

To read about the recklessness in which as a youth, we take life for granted as we did things that were simply suicidal, ( like myself walking on the railing of the bridge above the train track, often, supported only by beams under my feet, but survived anyway. In the Measure of a Man, Poitier gives several moments of reflections, and it seems to have to do with water! A truly deadly force of nature. But some how you survive in spite of the resistance that family offer to protect you from these outside influences, these dangers in the world. Family.

Poitier speaks of the family. The honor in sharing with family. The fact that one honors their mother and father with your own life work is what touched my heart in this book. It was not enough to read how his father provided for his family. The tears came from reading the diligence of a mother to make a way out of no way. The work of beating a rock into pebbles with a hammer. The determination, the sheer will, and the commitment to do such a task over and over again, fired my spirit into uncontrollable tears. I remembered a time when you must push through to survive.

I found myself quoting some of Mr. Poitier sayings, you hear me! In doing so I embraced the meaning my great grandmother, grandparents and mother in their saying, nobody said the road would be easy, it's on down the road for you, mingled with the new old a leaf changes overnight for my children and grandchildren. Life is tough. But what makes it easier, is having hopes that become a plan in which to set goals in overcoming rules or obstacles that tell you it is hopeless to do things differently.

My grandfather was my measure of a man. He encouraged me when others said who does she think she is to think differently. It was my grandfathers words that motivated me to try and see and envision a different world. It was his words through my mother life that inspired me, as he did not bend or swear when others lied on him. So was it my mother's path. Neither went to that place, when others attacked their right to be exactly who they were. My mother would say, do you think I chose to be born this way? Poitier reminded me of this...My grandfather life lived beat the hopelessness out of me no matter the obstacles that nature throws my way. Hopes and dreams goes beyond a belief system placed upon you by laws created to strict ones ambition for going places where you unwanted. I joined a choir, and at that time, included today, could not carry a note, but my grandfather, made me think I could sing! Most favorable.

Poitier points out you will be rejected for doing such thing, with the question, who are you and where did you come from? And the answer is simply I am the one I choose to be and it helps to have family, friends and sometime enemies to helping me. Poitier learned this early in life, I had forgotten this, thank you Mr. Poitier, as I continue to write over 600 posts on this blog.

I was pleased to read that the measure of a man was how well a father provided for his family. Because, if that was the case, as a mother thatI must be a woman if the measure is how well you take care of your children.

Posted at: Dragon Slayer's Guide to Life

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